I think I’ve tried to start writing this post at least three times now. Life has been overwhelming lately– B has been out of town for over a week now and having to run the household , take care of the dog, wrap up my clients at my old job and prep for my new job, while also making time for meal prep, exercising, couponing, I have been a busy gal! BUT, it’s a beautiful Saturday, I got to sleep in, the sun is shining, I’m sipping some delicious coffee, my dog’s head is in my lap, and I’ve finally had some time to wrap my head around what I want to say.

Life is Good.      

 

As long as I can remember, I’ve been the person my friends and family have come to when they need to vent, need advice, a shoulder to lean on, etc. Perhaps that’s why I went into mental health… I was already doing it anyway, might as well get paid for it. Anyway, it can be a tremendous responsibility but I also consider it an honor for someone to come to you with their challenges. Sometimes, when you’re “that person,” you find trends in your conversations, and recently I’ve found myself having some version of the same one with many people, which I think warrants a post. More or less the conversation had to do with people being unhappy because of the effect that others were having on them- be it a boss, coworker, significant other, family member or friend.

 

My response to all of them was the same : you alone are responsible for your own happiness. If I’ve learned anything in the past few years– it’s that ANYONE can let you down. Even the last person you’d expect, the last person that should. Even your own mother. Human beings are inherently selfish…it’s just biology. Believe me, I’m ALL about noticing the good in people- it’s a huge component of my career, and my life philosophy. But, on a primal level, people typically look out for themselves, unfortunately, sometimes to the detriment of others. In that same vain, though, my initial statement rings true. No one else is responsible for creating happiness in YOUR life. I say creating happiness because I also believe that happiness is a choice that needs to be made every day. Choosing to “look at the bright side”, the glass half full, look for the silver lining, these expressions exist for a reason. It is all about perspective. You can certainly choose to go through life focusing on the scars, the bumps, the detours, or you could take time and care to notice the tiny, beautiful things, the glimmers of hope and promise, no matter how small.

When you choose to notice positivity, you also choose happiness… and that is a beautiful thing.

I’m not saying it’s easy. Far from it, and it’s something I struggle with at times. But, like most difficult things, it’s also worth it. There is something so empowering about realizing that you and you alone have control over your happiness. There’s a saying in the mental health field that you teach people how to treat you, and there’s certainly some truth there. If you allow someone to make your life choices for you, or talk to you in a way you don’t like, if you’ve developed an unhealthy pattern with someone, YOU are responsible for correcting that, you have to advocate for yourself, speak up for what you want and need.

 

Part of growing involves taking responsibility for the people you keep in your life and acknowledging and appreciating the choices that you always have.

Today, I choose happiness. 🙂

xo, J